"This is exactly what you need!" Francesca beamed as she hooked her arm through Grace's and headed down to the seafront. ...

Part 35 - Bad Desire: New Generation



"This is exactly what you need!" Francesca beamed as she hooked her arm through Grace's and headed down to the seafront.

With Harvey away, Grace's friends had decided to get her out for a few cocktails by the sea to take her mind off things. They knew she was going to find it tough, considering how close they had become, so they wanted to make it easier. 

"Thank you, it's good to get out. I just can't be long because I want to be back for Brinley." Grace replied as the thoughts of her daughter made her miss her even more.

Grace loved getting out of the house to be normal for a few hours but whenever she did, she still spent the majority of it thinking about Brinley. 

"Yes, yes, we know! But let's get you a drink." Francesca continued, not really processing what Grace had said, knowing she'd benefit from this night.

Therefore, guiding her over to the benches outside the bar, her friends then headed inside to get them some drinks.

While she waited, Grace just sat staring out to the sea and was doing everything to try and force a particular person out of her mind. It was so hard to do that though because this bar was Harvey's absolute favourite place to go.

He was over going to the clubs full of 18 and 19 year old's now. Instead, him and his friends usually switched between the few bars down along the sea front. They were small but in the summer, they laid out loads of benches outside, welcoming even more people over. 

There was also always a musician placed up front, usually a singer with a guitar who would play music all night. It wasn't hectic or sweaty. It was calm with such a relaxed vibe; just groups of friends, families, or work colleagues meeting up to have a drink and a catch up.

Harvey loved it and lately it had become Grace's favourite place too. Therefore, it only felt right to text him and mention where she was. So pulling out her phone, Grace sent him a quick message, letting him know that he was missed.


"Long time no see." A familiar male voice suddenly captured Grace's attention from her phone, instantly causing her to turn around.

Her stomach dropped the moment she saw him. She felt sick and fueled with so much anger.

"Fuck off, right now." Grace bit, not prepared to give this guy even a second of her time.

She had come here tonight to enjoy a night with her friends and take her mind off Harvey. She did not come here to have her past haunt her.

"Well that's a bit harsh, innit? I just come over to say hi." Max remarked, with a look over his face that just screamed trouble.

"...and what makes you think I want to talk to you? Are you fucking stupid?!"

Max Rowan was a guy that Grace had been desperately trying to forget. He was a guy who had treated her so badly yet still walked around like he was on top of the world.

Just over a year ago, Grace had been involved with Max and if it wasn't for her baby girl, it would have been one of the biggest regrets of her life. 

Max Rowan was the guy who had gotten her pregnant, and decided that he had the freedom to walk away and leave her to figure it all out on her own. He hadn't cared and he hadn't shown any concern for her terrified state when she had called him up in tears.

Instead, he had insisted that it was none of his business because they "weren't in a relationship" and "it had only been a one night thing". He had claimed that he had things planned, that he had a life to live. He was cruel, cocky, and selfish and for that reason, Grace was now grateful that he had never been apart of Brinley's life.

"I get why you're pissed at me but I just wanna talk. I haven't seen you in a long time." Max suddenly tamed his previous cocky tone and attempted to sound sincere. 

"Oh yeah, how did you find travelling? I bet it was fun to have so much freedom!" Grace mocked, considering she hadn't had that option and she didn't believe he should have gotten it either.

"Can we go somewhere and talk?" Max sighed, realising that this wasn't going to be as easy as he had hoped.

He should have known that Grace wasn't one to let anyone off lightly. She was fully capable of giving them the hard time she knew they deserved. She was fuming with Max and that wasn't something that would easily fade. He had done one of the absolute worst things he could have ever done to her and that wasn't forgivable.

"No. I don't want to talk to you. I have nothing else to say." Grace spat, as she drifted her eyes over to where her friends were stood at the bar. She needed them to come back over. so this conversation would be over.

"But I want to talk to you. I want to have a serious conversation about this but we can't do it here..."

It was Max's turn to glimpse over in the direction of her friends before back to Grace. They both knew having the conversation here with people around wouldn't be possible because nobody but them was aware of the situation.

Grace had always told people that she didn't know who Brinley's dad was and Max had never admitted to it being him. When Max had left, claiming he wanted nothing to do with it, Grace had made sure to never involve him.

If he didn't want to step up, then she wasn't even going to think of him as being Brinley's dad. In Grace's mind, her daughter had her and that was it. There was no male figure in the situation.

"Please Grace. Just let say what I've got to say and then if you don't wanna talk anymore, I'll leave."

Grace wanted to turn around and say no. She wanted to tell Max to get up and leave right now but part of her did want to hear him out. Max had been travelling for the last year so she hadn't seen him in all of that time. She had unfollowed all of his social media profiles too, as she didn't have to witness any of his photos, enjoying his freedom. Therefore, seeing him now for the first time in so long was causing so many mixed emotions that she didn't want to be experiencing.

"Okay, fine. We can talk but after that you have to leave. I don't want you here with us." Grace warned, prepared to stick to her word and not appear as though she was giving in.

Nodding his head, Max stood to his feet before holding his hand out in her direction. Grace didn't take it and instead just got up and immediately began walking off. She had in her mind that she would walk as far as the beach huts and that was it. If Max hadn't finished saying what he wanted to say, then that was tough luck. Therefore, he had about 20 minutes to get out whatever it was that he wanted to say.

"Go on then. Spit it out." Grace bit once he had finally caught up with her. 

Max seemed a little taken back by how distant she was and that was just angering her more. She didn't understand what he expected from her.

"That year away changed me, Grace." Max stressed, clear desperation in his voice. "It made me grow up and realise what is important in life. I had time to think and I can honestly say that leaving you to deal with this alone, is now one of my biggest regrets." 

"You can't say that!" Grace immediately began shaking her head, feeling her blood boil. "You can't just say that, Max."

"Why not? It's the truth."

Grace could feel Max's eyes on her but she refused to look at him. Her gaze remained focused on the sights ahead, looking out for those beach huts so she could call this conversation to an end and go back to having a good night with her friends.

"I didn't get the option to run off for a year, while I figured out if being a parent was right for me. I had to grow the fuck up there and then and do it. You shouldn't have had that choice either! That's not fair."

"I know it isn't, I know that... and I feel shit for doing it."

"Wow, you feel shit, poor you." 

"I know it must have been hard for you. I know it can't have been easy." Max attempted to sound sympathetic but it wasn't working in his favour right now.

"You don't know anything Max! You can't act like you do. You haven't been here to see how fucking hard it's been."

Grace was forcing back the tears because she didn't want to cry. She didn't want him to see her in a state, she wanted to be strong. However, it was so hard to stay strong when he was talking like this. He was bringing back all of her emotions from the moment he told her he wanted nothing to do with it. He was bringing forth all of the emotions she had been feeling these past 4 months, due to how hard it had been.

"I'm sorry, so so sorry. You've gotta believe me Grace." Max pleaded with her, holding such desperation in his voice which was almost believable. "I've seen photos of Brinley and she looks so adorable. She looks happy..."

"Yeah because of me. She is happy because of me. It has nothing to do with you."

"I know that. It is all you but I wanna help, Grace. I wanna be there for Brinley, but I also wanna be there for you. You shouldn't be doing this alone."

Max had stopped walking at this point and stood right in front of Grace to prevent her from going any further. He was giving her no choice but to look at him and he was doing everything he could to hold her gaze.

"I've coped alone this far." Grace bit, trying to force that strength in her and not let it falter. He was breaking her down bit by bit and she didn't like it.

"But like you said, it's been hard, so I owe you. You need to give me a chance."

"I don't need to do anything for you. All I need to do is look out for my daughter."

"Our daughter." Max corrected, instantly causing Grace to pause for a second.


"No Max, my daughter. She's mine."

"Grace...." 

As Max spoke her name so softly, he also reached out to take her hands. He was holding them so gently, his touch so light that she could have easily slipped hers away, but she didn't.

"What?"

"We could do this together, you know? You wouldn't have to go through the hard times alone anymore. I can be there for you, for you both...we could be a family."

...




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