It was Monday morning and as usual, Max had come over to spend a few hours with Brinley. Those few hours sometimes turned into a whole d...

Part 61 - Bad Desire: New Generation



It was Monday morning and as usual, Max had come over to spend a few hours with Brinley. Those few hours sometimes turned into a whole day and even some nights, when things were good between himself and Grace.

Even though they both knew that it was bad, they struggled to avoid flirting with one another when they were together. It was as though old habits had a way of weening their way back in, with neither of them complaining too much about it.

Although that was the case, they were both aware that they were parents too, and they had to ensure that they were taking it seriously for the sake of Brinley. That was why moments like this happened, where they would happily be in one another's company and actually attempt to engage in serious conversations about their lives.

"So your dad is coming to Brighton?" Max clarified, as he sat on the floor playing with Brinley.

"Yeah, I'm so excited to see him. It's been months." Grace replied and she felt that buzz flow through her at the thought of being reunited with him.

Grace and James' dad Dylan lived in Ireland, so that meant that they didn't get to see him as often as they would like. A lot of effort had to be put into find the right time for them all to get together however, they did manage to FaceTime more than once a week.

"Are you two close then?"

"Really close, which is why I wish I saw him more."

"Does he get on with your mum and Matt? Cos' that must be weird." Max asked, considering he assumed that there had to be some awkwardness there. He couldn't imagine them all sitting around the dinner table together at Christmas time.

"Actually, they get on fine. I'm sure it wasn't like that to begin with but they worked through it for James and I... and for our kids too. It's only fair." Grace said as her eyes drifted to her daughter, feeling grateful that it had worked out that way.

"That's cool that they did that."

Nodding her head, Grace was slightly distracted for a moment as there was something she was dying to ask Max. It wasn't a conversation they had ever had, nor was it one she had heard him have with anyone before, however, she was too eager to just ignore it.

"What about your family? Are you guys all close? You've never really mentioned them before..."

Grace didn't know anything about Max's family at all. She had never seen photos of them or even seen him about in Brighton with them, it was as though they didn't exist.

"Er..." Max trailed off as his eyes focused on Brinley, who was currently clinging onto his hand with her tiny one. "...no not really."

"Oh... they live in Brighton though, don't they?" Grace asked, already noticing the discomfort fill Max's body. She could tell he didn't want to speak about this but she was keen to know and understand him. She wanted him to open up.

"Yeah, yeah, they do. I just don't really see them..."

There was a few seconds of silence while neither knew what to say. If it hadn't of been for Brinley's babbling, it would have been a painfully awkward few seconds too.

"We've never been a close family. We're not really speaking at the minute."

"Why are you not speaking to them?" Grace probed, not sure if she should push it but also genuinely curious of Max's situation.

He had never been one to talk about his family much but until now, she had never thought too much about it. However, his current uncomfortable body language was giving away the fact that maybe there was a lot more going on here than he was letting on.

"It's nothing really, it's not a big deal." Max replied with a shrug of his shoulders, barely even looking in Grace's direction.

"Did you guys fall out?"

"Something like that."

"What happened?" 

Grace was aware that this could go one of two ways, and there was a high chance she would anger Max by questioning him. However, luckily for her, he didn't seem angry at all, he just seemed sort of exhausted instead. It was as though just thinking about it was enough to cause him stress.

"It's a long story, it wasn't just one thing." He began, as he leaned back against the sofa. "I haven't spoken to them in over a year."

"Shit... really?" Grace gasped, unable to hide her shock yet Max remained placid and nodded his head.

"Yeah... we always had issues really. We argued a lot when I lived at home."

"Why did you argue?"

Finally removing his gaze from Brinley and placing it on Grace, Max held an expression that was very different to usual. He didn't look cocky or even confident for that matter, if anything, he looked a little vulnerable.

"If I tell you this shit, you're not gonna go and blab your mouth will you? Because I know you have a big one."

"No, no. Of course I won't. I promise. I just want to understand you better... you know, get to know you properly." Grace breathed as she held her little finger up in his direction. She meant what she said, she wanted to understand the real Max Rowan, not just the party guy who made it his life goal to hook up with as many girls as possible.

A smile briefly crossed Max's face as he connected his little finger with hers, to confirm that promise. He hadn't spoken about this with anyone in a long time, so this was all very new to him.

"All of the arguments were money related." He began, as he ran his hands over his jeans. "My family doesn't have a lot and my parents are both alcoholics, so they just spend what they have on drink. They refuse to get help and instead have always just sponged off me. Since I was about 14, they have taken whatever money I made, all from my shit paid waiter job."

Grace was in shock from the words that had just left Max's mouth, but she was trying so hard not to show it. She had never known this about him. None of the guys ever spoke about it and Harvey had never brought it up either. She assumed they knew but guessed they just thought it was better to not mention it. However, when you looked at a guy like Max, you would think that he had his whole life together, not that he had suffered with a complicated and messed up family life since he was a kid.

"I was desperate to move out but I could never save anything because they just took whatever I earned. If I refused to give it to them, they'd find a way to steal it, so I couldn't win either way."

"Shit... Max, I'm so sorry, I..." Grace muttered, as she now felt incredibly guilty for making him bring it up.

"Nah, it's cool. Don't worry." He reassured and his smile was genuine, as though he really didn't want her to feel guilty.

"How did you finally leave home then?"

"I lived with Harvey and Lottie for about 6 months when I was 23." Max explained and that was something that Grace had never known before. She didn't know how she had missed it, however, she had been completely oblivious to that period in his life.

"They paid for the rent, and I took the spare room. I didn't need to spend a thing. I honestly couldn't be more grateful to them because they didn't have to do that." Max continued and once again, was filling Grace with so much shock. "It gave me chance to save up without my parents taking what I earned. Then I could finally afford a place with TJ and Taj, which is where I am now."

"But you still spoke to them then?"

"Every now and then, yeah. It was easier when I wasn't living with them but they still weren't great. We still weren't close or anything."


"What happened a year ago then to make you fall out for good?"

That was the one question that Max was dreading because it not only brought back memories of the difficult times with his parents, it also reminded him of the way he had treated Grace.

"We fell out because I went travelling." Max replied, and he watched for Grace's reaction. He knew what she would be thinking but their reasons were far from connected to Brinley. They still didn't know that she existed and he wanted to keep it that way.

"Why did you fall out over that?" Grace pushed for more, not quite understanding where this was going.

"When they found out I was going, they told me I was selfish for spending my money on a holiday for myself. They wanted what I had saved, they wanted my hard earned cash for drink and drugs, and were trying to make me feel guilty for not giving it to them." Max explained and you could sense the anger pulsing through him. Reliving the memory brought back every emotion too and it was painful. 

"That was the last straw for me. When they gave me the ultimatum between them and a holiday, I chose the holiday and honestly, as fucked up as it is, it was the best decision I ever made. I'm finally getting on my own two feet. They were constantly holding me back."

.............




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