Harvey had come over to Grace's parents house while it was free and quiet, giving them both time to finally have a conversation. He had purposely been avoiding her contact up until now, as he wanted this to happen when he was finally more level-headed and sure of his decision.
"I wanted to talk to you too." Grace replied, feeling on edge, yet also so happy to finally be in Harvey's presence again. She had been desperate for this moment yet been unsure if it would actually happen. "Can I just start by saying sorry?"
Although she knew he had probably heard all of the pathetic excuses from Max, Grace felt the need to give them too. She felt guilty for keeping it a secret from him, so felt that he deserved her apologies.
"I should have told you about Max being Brinley's dad. But, I just didn't want to admit that it was true. I had made myself believe that she didn't have a dad, so with him being away, it just made that so much easier."
"I get why you did it because what he did was shit." Harvey began and his tone was so calming, the complete opposite to what it had been the other night. "But at the same time, he's my mate Grace. You knew he was going to come home at some point, so not giving me a heads up that he was Brinley's dad was messed up."
Harvey was fuming at Max for what he did to Grace. It wasn't fair and it was selfish. However, he was also upset with Grace for not being honest with him. Whether she was worried of his reaction or not, being upfront and telling him the truth would have always been the best option. That way, he could have made his own decision on whether him and her would work or not.
Instead, he had been left to find it out once he had already caught feelings for her and built a relationship with Brinley.
"I know it was and I wish I would have told you, but I was scared because I knew that you wouldn't want anything to do with me. I liked you too much to be honest and that's selfish of me, I know."
"It would have put me off, yeah, because it's complicated. But things might have been different eventually, I don't know. It just would have been easier to know the truth because now this all just feels messy and wrong."
Grace was trying so hard to compose herself from getting upset. She felt an overwhelming sense of sadness but also fear for what was to come. Harvey had been her first relationship and she couldn't believe that she had been capable of messing it up so quickly.
He had treated her like she had only ever imagined being treated. So now knowing there was a potential of losing him hurt, a lot.
"I want to make it work, Harvey. I know it's a mess but we can figure it out and make it comfortable for everyone." Grace insisted, as she caught herself beginning to plead. "It will be difficult at first but it will be fine."
"I want to make it work because I like you, so fucking much, but I don't think it's going to be that simple." Harvey sighed, sounding aggravated, but not at her, more at the situation. "Max is going to get to know Brinley and that's going to take up a lot of your energy and time. It will be too much to deal with us too."
"But it is possible! It will be difficult but it's doable."
"Grace..."
"I mean it. I want you involved. You've gotten to know Brinley. I trust that you know what's right for her too. So you will be a help, you won't be in the way!" Grace stressed and at this point it was clear how desperate she was. She saw exactly where this was going and didn't want to let that happen, even though deep down she knew it would be for the best.
"All it will do is fuck up my friendship with Max and my relationship with you. I can't take sides. I need to step back and leave you both to it."
As Harvey finished what he was saying, a rustling sound coming through the door captured both of their attention. As they turned around, Brinley came crawling into the room with the biggest grin across her face.
In such a tense moment, this baby girl had managed to bring such light and joy.
Harvey couldn't help but smile back at her, as she grabbed onto his legs and urged her chubby arms up to him.
Grace watched on with a racing heart as Harvey lifted her daughter up onto his lap and urged her in for a warm embrace. Brinley was more than happy to give him the biggest bear hug she could manage and it broke Grace's heart.
Her baby girl wasn't aware of what was happening here. She didn't realise that the familiar face she had come to love wouldn't be so familiar soon. He would just disappear from her life and no longer be such a critical part of it, even though she had gained so much trust in him.
"This has probably happened at the best time, Grace." Harvey muttered as he looked up at her, while Brinley continued to watch him. "I go back to Cambridge tomorrow morning, it's not like we're going to bump into each other. You can just focus on introducing Brinley to Max and letting them get to know each other."
"I know what you're trying to say, Harvey." Grace bit, suddenly acting defensive as a tactic to cover up her sadness. "You're breaking up with me but you're just not saying those words out loud."
Pressing a kiss to Brinley's head, Harvey then watched as she began playing with his fingers.
"You know it's for the best though, right?"
Pulling her bottom lip into her mouth, Grace was finding it incredibly difficult not to cry. All she wanted to do right now was to take the place on the sofa next to Harvey and have him urge her into a hug too. However, she knew it wasn't a good idea.
Even if he did provide her with some comfort, it would only lure her into desperation even more and she knew that wasn't right. She had to do what was best for her baby girl and right now, that was to focus on letting her get to know her dad.
There couldn't be any complications. It had to be simple and drama free, and the only way to make that happen, was for her and Harvey to call it quits. It was best for them all.
"Yeah... I know." Grace whispered back and as the first tear fell from her eye, Harvey looked up just in time to see it.
Instead of ignoring that it had happened, Harvey reached out his hand in her direction. At first, Grace wasn't sure what he was gesturing to but she soon placed hers in his and allowed him to guide her to his side.
"It doesn't change how I feel about you." Harvey said as he urged her into the hug that Grace had been craving and placed a kiss to her head. "I'm still just a phone call away if you need me. Remember that, yeah?"
"Yeah." Grace muttered as she felt her heart break into a million pieces.
This had been the first relationship she had ever been in and she now realised why. It hurt, a lot.
She was in pain and although it was emotion pain, it felt physical. She couldn't stop it, no matter how hard she tried.
That strong woman she had once been had opened her heart to someone, something she had always refused to do. Now Grace was realising why she had been the way she had before. She realised that she had protected herself from the most excruciating pain possible and did not plan on allowing herself to go through anything like this again.
**
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